This message was preached by Colin D Cruz at Word of Grace Church Pune, on the 4th of August 2013.
This is part 3 of a series called Family Matters. What is the secret to loving much? being merciful and choosing to forget? How many times have we held on to petty hurts and made mountains out of molehills? Have you trapped yourself in the snare of unforgiveness . Read and listen to this life changing message.
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As
we live life, one thing is guaranteed-
we will have misunderstandings and let
down others and be let down. A simple situation can cause a lot of discord.
This happens in natural families and also in our spiritual family i.e. the
church.
In
the world, un-forgiveness is such a hindrance to relationships. Two sisters do
not talk to each other for many years! A small hurt is magnified- making
mountains out of mole hills. Have you met people like this? Maybe you are like
this.
In
Matthew 18:21, Peter who was always the spokesperson for the disciples asks a
question. In that day you were expected to forgive 3 times. Peter thinks he is
being magnanimous by doubling the number and adding one! When Jesus says “not seven times, but 77 times”, the Pharisee will count till 77.
But what Jesus means is- unlimited!
Jesus
then tells a story- it’s called the parable of the unmerciful servant. The man
owed an unimaginable sum of money. The point Jesus is making is that it was a
huge un-payable amount. This is a picture of God and us in the context of
forgiveness. We can never repay God for all the sins we have committed and in our foolishness we thing that we can "pay it back" but God know that we can't.
In the same way the
servant did not realize how much he owed and the depth or seriousness of his
situation when he says, “I will pay back”. But the Master knowing his condition
takes pity on him and cancels it.
This
is what Jesus did on the cross. The
Father has forgiven ALL our sins. We need a deep revelation of this or we
will be like Simon the Leper who thought he was better than the woman who
anointed Jesus.The other extreme is, we can become sin conscious. We need to
avoid both and realize that it was finished on the cross.
The
servant very quickly forgot about the mercy shown to him and man-handles
someone who in comparison owed him very little and throws him in jail. The
master hears of this and throws this ungrateful servant into jail. This is how
the Father will deal with us. Wow! This is serious.
There
are 2 levels- we have no problem with the first i.e. receiving forgiveness but
it’s the second one that we stumble upon.
Friendships are based on love, but
misunderstandings are settled when we forgive. Now how do we do this?
1. Realize
that God has forgiven us much. If we don’t know then we cannot forgive.
2. When
we are sinned against, we take offence- we are hurt and we can justify our hurt
and change our behavior toward that person. We avoid that person. Forgiveness
is to love and treat that person as though they have not hurt us. Humanly we
cannot do this- we need the help of the Holy Spirit for this.
(Illustration- . The one where a man was tortured and
many years later when he finds out who it was he chooses to forgive him. READHERE.http://assets.baptiststandard.com/archived/2001/11_26/pages/carrier.html
The
power of forgiveness is wonderful. We need to decide to forgive. It is not a
natural human inclination. We want revenge. If we lived by our feelings, we’d
be a mess.
And
some say, “I’ll forgive, but I’ll never forget”. What does Jesus do? He
remembers them no more.
Quote of Amy Carmichael-
God
can remove the memory of those hurts when we choose to let go and refuse to
remember.
Q. What if the persons
sins against you again and again?
People
are like porcupines which huddle together for warmth in the cold but they poke
one another and move apart- they are in danger of freezing to death or learn to
huddle without causing too much pain.
How
do we cope? We need to learn to forgive.
HOW DO WE APPLY THIS?
Think
of someone who has hurt you- we are called to bless them. Forgiveness is unilateral
(Romans 5:8). Th is can be applies between husband and wife, parents and children, neighbours, friends, and in the church.
That person may not change- our forgiveness needs to be
unconditional. If you feel someone has hurt you in church, how do you deal with
it? – Matthew 18:15- “if your brother
sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he
listens to you, you have won your brother over.”
Often,
we need to clarify because we could have misunderstood the situation- that can
settle so many things. When we seek clarification, we need to ask in a humble
posture. We need to practice this especially in the church.
In
the church if you feel you have been hurt- keep short accounts and settle it
quickly. Small or big, settle it. Satan loves to fuel a misunderstanding and
drive it to an irreconcilable situation. As we apply Matthew 18:15, Colossians
3:13, Ephesians 4:32 and Mark 11:25 we learn to forgive.
Be
real in your relationships. The person who lets you down should seek
forgiveness and name the sin- “please forgive me for not picking you up, I let
you down”. It’s taking responsibility. Our response should be ‘I forgive you’. That’s when there is closure to the hurt.
We
are not trying to be perfect. We will hurt and let each other down. But let’s
be quick to settle it- forgive and release forgiveness. Then there will be so
much love all around!
Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again), Spirit filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that have people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service. To know more about us please log onto www.wordofgracechurch.org.
English Language Service 10am. Please check google maps for directions
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