Family Matters 6 - Marriage -an Introduction

This message was preached by Colin D Cruz at Word of Grace Church  Pune, on the 25th of August 2013. 

This is part 6  of a series called Family Matters.  What  is marriage? Why should we marry? What is the blue print for a good marriage?

Read and listen to this life changing message.

To listen to the AUDIO please CLICK HERE

Some people experience heaven on earth and they call it marriage. Some people experience hell on earth and they call it marriage. How can both be?

At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to be the first to leave and those who want to be the last to leave. Usually, they are married to each other! We are all very different!

Different cultures have different experiences of marriage. In some cultures, the husband’s family dominates  the wife's family. This is common to India : where the daughters-in-law are exploited and the mothers-in-law dominate. In the West there are other issues - today they are contending with same sex marriages, live in relationships etc. This is also a growing trend here in India. We need to know what is God's design and intent for marriage.

Q. What is the Biblical pattern for marriage?

If you want to know the beginning or origin of things we need to go to Genesis. It tells you about the origin of man, where sin came from, etc.

1.     Genesis 2 - After God created the heavens and the earth God created Man. God created fashioned man from the dust of the ground and breathed life into him. This is not how the rest of creation was made.

Once man was created, he was placed in a garden in Eden. Garden in Greek is ‘paradiso’- paradise.

Genesis 2:9 - It must have been a beautiful place. It was a place you would love to go to.

In verse 15 it says that God gave Adam a job to do. He was responsible to tend the garden and name all the creatures.

2.     This was his Mission. But he had a problem - no suitable helper was found. He is in paradise filled with beauty but it was not enough. We need a depth of relationship to connect which cannot happen with a cat, dog or a pet parrot. Its only when we relate with other human beings is there fulfillment. Relating it a skill - some can talk till the cows come home. Some are like the rock of Gibraltar - you can’t get a word out of them.

3. God brought a "Miss" to Adam.

In verse 22 the world’s first anesthesia was given and the first surgery was performed. God made a woman from one rib. Then he wakes up and sees that God brings him a woman and we have the first poetry and the first marriage.

A suitable helper- helper doesn't mean sub-ordinate. The same word is used for the Holy Spirit - a partner, co-worker.

4.     God created Marriage and called it very good. (Gen 1:31)

This was God’s plan for marriage - one man and one woman. So it’s Adam and Eve,  and NOT Adam and Steve. God gave Adam a mission and to accomplish this, he needed Eve. ‘Marriage is not just a very good thing, it’s a God thing.’ 

Today marriage is being challenged. People are succumbing to the pressures of culture.

Q. How does this apply to me?

Not only did God create marriage but he gave us the instructions on how to live. God did not leave us in the dark. This is the blue-print for a God honoring marriage.

Gen 2:24-25 says, “For this reason a man will his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” 
These are part of the instructions for the manner in which husband and wife need to relate. There are many more. It’s not enough to just be married, but to have a Godly marriage.

Men - have the responsibility to lead well.

Women - you are  NOT sub-ordinate. It’s a complimentary role. We are equal before God but different.

Q. What about singles?

Single men - This is a good time to know what your purpose in life is. It’s not to expect your wife to wait on you ‘hand and foot’. There is a purpose - find out what that is. You have a responsibility to lead well.

Single women - God has plans for you as well. 

Gift of singleness - There is a small minority that God gives the gift of singlehood. 
Matthew 19:12 says, “…others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven.” The apostle Paul was one such person. 1 Corinthians 7:7 says that singleness is a gift. A single person is not inferior to a married person. Jesus and Paul were both single.

If singleness is not your gift, what do you do? You continue to serve God and prepare yourself for marriage. 

Men - study, get a job, save. Women - your primary role is being a good wife and mother. We get our values from the WORD and not from the world. If you can manage a career and a family great but remember your primary role is looking after your family.

What we are saying is counter culture. Many couples are DINKS - Double Income No Kids.

In the coming weeks we will unfold what marriage is all about and how we work out the most important relationship.

For those who are called to singleness - use it to be devoted to the Lord. God has promised to never leave you. Even in a marriage there is no perfect spouse. Only God can meet all your needs and fulfill you completely.  In the coming weeks we will see the Manner in which husband and wife should relate in a marriage and how Marriage is a Mystery. 

'Marriage is not just a very good thing, it’s a God thing.’ So stay tuned for more.       

   Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again),  Spirit filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that have people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service. To know more about us please log onto www.wordofgracechurch.org.

    English Language Service Sundays at 10am. Please check google maps for directions!

    

Family Matters 5 - Some basics of family life

Family Matters 5

This message was preached by Colin D Cruz at Word of Grace Church  Pune, on the 18 th of August 2013. 

This is part 5  of a series called Family Matters.  What makes a family a family? How is it the same in the church. Ever met a Christian from across the globe and found there is an instant connection like meeting a long lost cousin? What binds us and keeps us together?

 Read and listen to this life changing message.

To listen to the AUDIO please CLICK HERE

Families are wonderful. WE are all placed in a family. Wonderful though they may be they have their challenges. No matter what, there is a connection that transcends time, space, geography. What binds us together is that we are family.

What about the church. The church is the family of God – not “like” a family, it “is “ is a family.

We are all sinners and we all have realized that the only hope we have is in Jesus. We all came to that realization at some point in our life. Good people don’t go to heaven, only forgiven people do! We believed in Jesus and then something incredible happened. We became born again and our desires began to change. Gal3:26 tells us that we are all sons of God through Jesus Christ. Thus we have brothers and sisters across the world. Its amazing how when you meet a Christian from across the world there is an instant connection like meeting a long lost cousin.

As believers we will be together in eternity so we better learn how to get along with each other now.

How do we live together as a family?

When a door creeks what do you do? You put a little oil on the hinges and the problem is sorted. It’s the same thing in relationships. The Bible gives us a little oil for different situations that when applied will help sort things out.

Romans 12:9-21 These 15 verses are packed with so much instructions on how to live. There are 200 words with 28 instructions and they all deal with LOVE. 1 Cor. 13 talks about the attributes of love. 1 Cor. 12 is very practical.

1.      Verse 9 – Love must be sincere. The word sincere comes from a latin word si·ne·cure

In those days they would make cast iron statues and if there were any gaps/flaws they would cover /fill it with wax. A good statue was one without wax I.e. sincere. Like we have a stamp that says “genuine leather” this was “sincere” meaning without wax. In love in implies, no cover up, no hypocrisy. This can only happen when God pours out his love in our hearts. In our flesh this is difficult to do so. To love those who love us is easy. But to love those who don’t reciprocate takes the grace of God.

2.       Verse 10 “Devoted to one another in brotherly love” i.e it means to loves as though we are from the same womb! We need to pursue love. It is not a “falling in love” kind of love.

How is this outworked?

3.      Verse 10b honour others above yourselves. The bible says a lot about this. This is something everyone can do. Don’t think of how nobody greeted \you- think about how you can greet the other person. You cannot demand love and honour but we can give it freely. Let’s honour the elderly and not ignore the children. Parents teach your children to greet and show proper respect.

In today’s world all good manners have gone out of the window. Men don’t behave like men .We want to live by a biblical standard and not cultural standards and often time the two clash.

This should change the way we conduct ourselves in our homes as well viz. eating together vis a vis a women slaving in the kitchen while the men eat.

4.       Verse 12 Faithful in prayer- everyone has needs. We need to be committed to each other in our prayer life. Paul told them that he is praying for them. This encourages the other person and lightens their burden.

5.      Verse 13 Share with God’s people in need. (we covered this a lot in last Sunday’s message). Practice hospitality. I have preached on this before. How can I be a blessing or help meet a need? It’s amazing how many times hospitality is mentioned in the Bible. When Jesus rose from the dead did he make a dramatic entry? Jn21:7, 12 “come have breakfast”. Verse9 Jesus was dos down to earth. The Lord of all creation cooks breakfast. Before he died he had the last supper with his disciples where he shared some important things with them.

6.       Verse16. Do not be conceited but be willing to associate with the lowly. In today’s world everyone wants to associate with the rich and famous. In the church not so. Be willing to associate with the lowly and someone different from you i.e language, culture, economic status etc. Always think about whom you can be a blessing to.

     If we just put these things into practice – greet everyone, practice hospitality and associate with everyone it will make such a difference to PUNE!! ( I didn’t say just church) People will begin to feel loved and accepted. They will know that we are Christians by our love. John Stott called the passage a recipe for love.

7.      The bottom line is, are we obeying something? Then this place will be buzzing with the love and life of God.  Amen !

   Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again),  Spirit filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that have people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service. To know more about us please log onto www.wordofgracechurch.org.

    English Language Service 10am. Please check google maps for directions!

The powerful weapon called Prayer.

This message was preached by Colin D Cruz at Word of Grace Church  Pune, on the 14th of July 2013. To listen to the AUDIO please CLICK HERE

Proverbs 18:21- “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit”.

The tongue has great power. The world was created with the spoken word. The tongue is involved in salvation. 

Last week we saw the negative effect when the tongue is used negatively.

But we can use the tongue to build up, to release God’s power into different situations. Today, I want to focus on the use of the tongue for prayer.

1 Thessalonians 5:17- Pray continually. Other versions say- without ceasing/ constantly. It’s a simple and specific command stating that praying is a way of life and a part of the church life.

What does God expect of us?

1.      Luke 11:

V.1- one day when Jesus was praying…

1. Prayer was a part of Jesus’ life. They saw Jesus do amazing things and they saw Jesus praying- they asked him to teach them how to pray. And  that is how we have the Lord’s Prayer which is really a framework.

·        Praise God first- Honor Him.

·        Pray for things Kingdom related

·        Ask God for your daily bread- ask that we are dependent on Him for everything

·        Seek forgiveness and acknowledge your weaknesses

·        Pray for help in temptation- the world, the flesh, the devil and the war against our souls

Then Jesus tells them a story to help them understand better. In v. 5, the friend asks boldly for bread at midnight. This is a parable of contrast. If your friend will oblige you, how much more will God!

 Jesus then goes on to ‘ask, seek and knock’- it’s a progression. So don’t just ask once but persevere.

Then he gives another comparison of the earthly father and Heavenly Father. Jesus is using contrast to the point of it being ridiculous. So how much more will the Father give! These parables are to build faith as what  God wants, is for us to be bold and persevering.

Do we have unanswered prayers?

So how should we pray? Often we pray ‘soft prayers’. That is not what we should do. God wants us to be impudent and shameless in our prayers.

Hebrews 5:7- Jesus practiced this-Jesus prayed with loud cries and tears. When is the last time you prayed like this?

V.7- ‘and He was heard’. We need to get out of our middle class properness.

Jesus at Gethsamene (Matt 26:38) - deep emotions being expressed, great anguish in prayer facedown. We need to change the way we pray and battle with intensity.

Q. What about unanswered prayer then? - Sometimes, it takes a long time, but don’t give up even when tempted to.

2   2.      Luke 18:1- Parable of contrast.

Jesus told them this so that they will always pray and not give up.

v. 3- widows in those days were poor and vulnerable. But she kept persisting. And in v. 4-5, finally, the unjust judge gives in to get rid of her.

v.7- but how much more God? In v.8, He asks, “will He find faith on the earth?” i.e. it takes faith to believe and keep praying. Maybe you know someone unsaved, sick, in bad financial situations, relationships, jobs, etc. Pray and do not give up.

    3.   Acts 10:3- Cornelius was not a Jew but was God-fearing. But one day things changed- he had a vision that changed everything. Peter has a vision simultaneously.

Till this time the gospel is only shared with the Jews, but through this event Cornelius and his whole family are saved. In v. 44-47- this is the first of the gentiles coming to salvation and this opens the doorway for millions of us.

Pray persistently for that ‘one day’ to happen in your life.

  Mark 1:35- Jesus prayed early in the morning. As we ask, seek and knock- thing will begin to happen. 

Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again),  Spirit filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that have people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service. To know more about us please log onto www.wordofgracechurch.org.

English Language Service 10am. Please check google maps for directions

Family Matters Part 1 : Gossip

This message was preached by Colin D Cruz at Word of Grace Church on the 7th of July 2013. You can listen to the audio by clicking here. Family is all about relationships and communication. Good relationships and healthy communication keep a family close and strong. This is true for the Church family as well. More churches are torn apart from within than an outside attack. the deadliest enemy of a healthy church is an uncontrolled tongue. 

There is something that we do that takes up 1/5^th of our life i.e talking. Every day we speak between 18-30,000 words  ( For men  the average is 25,000 and for women its 30,000) In a year you could fill 66 books of 800 pages each of all the conversations you have.

Speech has incredible power. Talking always existed. In the beginning was the WORD. The Trinity was always in communion and communication with one another. Talking was involved in the fall : Satan and  spoke to eve. Talking is involved in salvation: you have the hare the message and you have to confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord.

Talking is the essence of fellowship. Its unnatural not to talk specially in a Christian community situation. Talking is one of the secrets to good leadership. A good leader communicates. Proverbs 10:19 also warns us that where words are many sin is not absent.

We can be rude, harsh, unkind, and critical with our tongue.

James refers to the tongue in every chapter of his book. If you want to know the spiritual state of a person check their speech.

James 1:26 your tongue is your spiritual thermometer. Therefore we need to control our tongue and what we speak.

Today I want to focus on Gossip and Slander

How do we relate in a church family in a wholesome way?

What is gossip and how do we handle it and avoid it?

James 3 Compares the tongue to a bit in a horse’s mouth. With the small bit a horse is controlled. Its also like the rudder of a ship. In the same way the tongue will determine your spiritual state : present and future.

What does God think about gossip? Rom1:29 Gossips are bracketed with murderers. The sin of gossip is not minor but a serious sin.

2Cor12:20 What is gossip?: “ It is the spreading of unfavorable information about someone else even if that information is true “ Jerry Bridges.

Rick Warren: When we are talking to someone who is neither a part of the problem nor solution  it is gossip.

Gossip does not build up.

SLANDER: When you know it’s not based on facts and you do it to tear someone down. Slander has the same root word as the devil.

Rev 12:10 the devil is the accuser of the brethren.

Busy bodies – they get involved in everyone’s business “Have you heard?”

1Tim 5:13 This could be anyone- men, woman, young and old.

Gossips can also happen with legitimate negative information but we spread it.

Gossip can happen when we have a disagreement with someone. A hurting party goes to 10 other people and shares their side of the story. What we need to do is what is in Matt 18. However sometimes weak/timid people cannot handle it on their won. Then you can talk to someone who can help you to resolve the issue.

The accuracy and the motive are important.

Gossip is like a choice morsel Proverbs 26:22. There is something about gossip that is attractive. It goes down to the inmost parts.

HOW DO WE HANDLE IT?

WE are all susceptible to this. James 3:2 one who has control over their tongue has maturity.

1.      When we realize it is wrong

2.      Everything we say is being recorded Matt12:36-37  we need to give an account for every careless word spoken.

What can we do if we have gossiped?

Gossip will destroy the body of Christ. It is like cancer or gangrene that has to be dealt with.

What can you do when someone starts to gossip?

Ask them these questions: Why are you telling me this? I am uncomfortable with what you are saying. Now that you have told me this what are you going to do about it before I do?

If a person has been hurt and unburdens on you, you have a responsibility to now help that person reconcile the situation. If you can’t do it,  get someone who can involved.

Prov 20:19 A gossip betrays confidence.

What do I replace gossip with? Here is a helpful acronym

T- Is it True ?

H – Is it Helpful ?

I – Is it Inspiring?

N- Is it necessary?

K- Is it Kind?

We need to excel at building each other up Eph 4:29We are the body of Christ. When Paul was persecuting the church Jesus said to him “why are you persecuting me?” When we  harm the church, it the body of Christ we are harming.

What is not gossip? When you tell a person, who can do something about the situation.

Eph 5:

Let’s practice speaking positively and encouraging one another.

We have a deadly weapon with us – the tongue. Your tongue can lift up the whole congregation or it can tear it down. Let’s do the former.

Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again),  Spirit filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that have people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service. To know more about us please log onto www.wordofgracechurch.org.

English Language Service 10am. Please check google maps for directions

A Father's heart

This message was preached by Colin  D cruz on the 9th of June at Word of Grace Church. You can download or listen to the audio mp3 by clicking here

In today’s world we have so many opportunities, choices of vocation etc. But what you consider the most challenging job to be?

Its being a father. You may say “whats so challenging about that?”

Firstly it’s a great privilege. In today’s world marriages are under stress, many struggle with starting a family etc. We need to realize that children are a gift from the Lord.

In the Bible very few were good fathers. Even King David, though a man after God’s own heart failed when it came t beign a father. The bible I very candid about failures.

Being a father is not only a challenge but significant. How?

In the 1900s 2 families trees were researched upon.

Max Jukes’ descendants included:

7 murderers,

60 thieves,

50 women of debauchery,

130 other convicts.

310 paupers (with over 2,300 years lived in poorhouses)

400 who were physically wrecked by indulgent living.

It was estimated that Max Juke’s descendants cost the state more than $1,250,000.

Jonathan Edwards’ godly legacy includes:

1 U.S. Vice-President,

3 U.S. Senators,

3 governors,

3 mayors,

13 college presidents,

30 judges,

65 professors,

80 public office holders,

100 lawyers and

100 missionaries.

This is a powerful example showing how a parent’s leadership can have a profound effect on their children and the generations to come.

We all know the tremendous contribution mothers make.

Senora Dodd was brought up by her father as one of 6 children  So she decided to celebrate fathers day on his birthday but later it got streamlined to the 3^rd Sunday in June.

Throughout scripture God has many titles but one that even Jesus used was “Our Father”. Paul wrote about “Abba father” – its an intimate term of endearment.

The Jews would not even say the name of God. But Jesus said that we can call Him Father. Fatherhood is a good thing. There is great pressure to take  away traditional role of the father and mother today. Many countries have legalized same sex marriages.

The role of the father and mother is very important – they are equal but have different functions. The Father is the head of the household and ought to loving provide. The mother is primarily a home maker and is in equal partnership with her husband.

What is the father's role?

• It is a great privilege as I said before. Today there is a big stigma attached to childlessness. It is in God’s hands so when you are struggling to have children do not fight with each other.
• Our role is to look at our heavenly father and model him. We all have earthly fathers and we know that they are not perfect. It’s sad when the bad things have been passed on viz violence, addictions etc.

In Christ that curse is broken. Jesus can nullify all the negative effects of the past. WE are a new creation and a changed people.

Zep 3:17 The Lord takes great delight in you. Isn't that amazing? We need to delight in our children. Give them lots of love, hugs and kisses.

Love toward your children – affirm them, encourage them.

• Provide for your children – it’s a father's responsibility.
• Teach them. Deut 6:7 impress them on your children. It’s a father’s responsibility to teach the children the ways of the Lord. At home the father’s role is to be the spiritual priest. If you have not started it’s not too late. The Spiritual nurturing of your children is up to you and its your responsibility and not that of the Sunday school which takes place for only half hour a week. Bless them before they go to school.

• Discipline them 0 in love. In India we let the kids run loose and wild and when they are adults everyone want to control them. Heb12
• Model it – In everything we do we need to model it. Your children are watching you. It’s a rewarding job. We have a great responsibility and opportunity to leave behind a great legacy.

What to father’s need? Respect, and honor. Ex 20:12 We need to honour them so that you will live long. This is the 1^st command with a promise.

Verse 4 Fathers do not exasperate the. The bible has a lot to say about bringing up children.

We need much grace and help to live up to this high calling.

Invest in yourself and the generations to come.

Besides having biological children we can all have spiritual children and that is a great legacy to leave behind as well. We are all in this together. Lets make an impact on the generations to come.

Colin D Cruz

June 2013

Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again),  Spirit filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that have people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service. To know more about us please log onto www.wordofgracechurch.org.

English Language Service 10am