Forgiveness A Gift To Myself

This message was preached by  Navaz D'Cruz via zoom  Word of Grace Church , on the July 19 2020. For the audio please click here. 

FORGIVENESS – A GIFT TO MYSELF

 TEXT: MATT 18:21-35

INTRODUCTION

What is a common human tendency? To get something for nothing and to give something demanding everything. Another would be “treat others as you don’t want to be treated”.

Jesus was having a chat with his disciples about the Kingdom of heaven. They wanted to know who is the greatest in the kingdom. Jesus tells them they need to come to him with childlike qualities of trust, freedom, humility.

Then Jesus goes on to tell them the value the Kingdom of heaven puts on each individual. He is not talking about people who are unsaved. These are sheep that belong to the shepherd. In Biblical language, God’s own is always referred to as sheep and the lost goats.

But sheep can also lose their way. God never leaves us nor forsakes us. He comes after us. I believe the next paragraph is a continuation of that discussion. Jesus gave a parable to explain the principle. He then goes on to talk about how it is put into practice. A brother has lost his way like the lost sheep and we have a responsibility to go after him and restore him to the fold.

Peter is working this out in his head. How many times do I have to go and talk to this guy? And again Jesus gives an answer and follows it’s with a story that we will be looking at more closely today.

THE PARABLE

 What is the Kingdom of heaven like? The players in this story are the King, a servant you can’t pay his debt, the servant's friends, others servants and tormentors.

The point Jesus is making is look at the amount of mercy and grace each one of us has received. Is there anything you can do to earn it? No !. Therefore we need to show mercy just as we have been shown mercy.

These days everyone wants a sugar-coated pill. Jesus did not worry that his words caused pain.  We live in a society that over medicates to avoid pain and reality.

Today’s message is a non-sugar coated pill. A surgeons job is to deal with the anomalies in your body even though cutting through your flesh etc. is going to cause you pain. Do you resist it? No. You know after a while you will be healed and whatever that was removed from your body needed to go for you to live healthy and long.

So let the Word of God that is living and active and sharper than a double-edged sword or even a surgeon’s knife, do its work in your heart today.

Today we are going to look at Unforgiveness and Offence

Nothing affects us more than unforgiveness, offence and bitterness. It colours our judgement on everything and everyone we meet and not just the person we feel has sinned against us.

Jesus called us to a lifestyle of forgiveness. He said to forgive 70 times 70 every day!! This value is not a philosophy; it’s a principle that has to be practised. Philosophies never changed the heart.

When unforgiveness it not dealt with on a daily basis it starts to grow roots. Its called bitterness. Bill Johnson “says bitterness is murder in diapers.”

Bitterness can even blind you to the repentance of the other person.

WHAT IS UNFORGIVENESS?

Unforgiveness can happen to the best of us when we think we are better than others or feel entitled to be treated in a certain way. Phil 2:3 – think of others better than yourself.

Unforgiveness or offence  can occur when I jump to the wrong conclusions about a person’s behaviour.

We have unreal or unmet expectations of how others should treat us.

The Bible talks about picking dust from one’s brother’s eye while we have a huge tree bark jutting out of our own.

THE RESULT IS:

·      Often these people are blind to their own faults while expecting everyone else to toe their line.

·      They are slow to forgive and harbour unforgiveness for a long time.

·      They are not open to any feedback themselves They are fault finders with everyone.

·      When they take offence they often retreat or go cold on the friendship and are not interested in dialogue or reconciliation.

·      The end result is because of this negative behaviour pattern, people begin to avoid them and they feel rejected

·      They are unable to discern who are their true friends, hence never form deep relationships.

·      They can be controlling people because they want things to always go their way and have everyone toe their line.

·      Any criticism is taken as being against them personally and seeing as rejecting them personally.

·      Often time expectations are not voiced but they expect you to know and read their minds and when you don’t, offence is taken.

·      So you might encounter passive aggressive behaviour i.e I won’t do something I know you want me to do, and I will do something that you don’t like me doing.

·      In a church setting which is so much a part of my life I have seen this behaviour pattern as very dangerous and detrimental to the unity and harmony in the church family.

We are tormented -  We are tormented by bitter thoughts day and night. This could result in anxiety, fits of anger and rage, high blood pressure, headaches, and all kinds of illness as well. Not all illnesses are a result of unforgiveness.

Our families get tormented as well because our poison spills onto them and they become victims of my bitterness and unforgiveness. There is collateral damage.

WHAT DO WE DO?

FORGIVE. WHAT IS IT?

Jesus takes a serious view of unforgiveness In the Lord’s prayer we are taught to pray “ Forgive us as we forgive..”

 Then Jesus goes back to comment on this part of the prayer Matt6:14-15  ^“ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

 We have been forgiven all our sins. Jesus died in my place. He paid the penalty for my sin. HE does not deal with us as our sins deserve Ps 103:8.

Forgiveness does not make them right. It makes me free.

Forgiveness is the best gift you can give yourself.

Forgiveness does not mean you don’t have a right to protect yourself especially in cases of abuse. You do not put yourself in harm's way.

Forgiveness does not mean I cannot talk to the person about the offence. In fact in Matt 18:15 we are encouraged to go and sort it out.

Forgiveness does not mean there won’t be consequences. The effects of the sin might still pan out.

WHAT IS THE REMEDY?

It is simple but not simplistic. It takes a battle of the mind not to fall into that terrible trap.

It takes courage to speak up and clear doubts.

It takes humility to hear what the other person has to say and receive it well.

It takes strength of character to have a sober judgment of oneself.

 It takes much grace and oodles of love and self sacrifice to appreciate others, to give them the benefit of the doubt, to let go petty issues.

 It takes fortitude to forgive even when none has been offended. Bless the person ( Luke 6:28). This forces us to get out of a philosophy mindset and put it into practice.

Release the debt permanently. Unilateral forgiveness. The car that ran over your foot is not coming back to heal you. The person who caused the hurt is rarely a part of the healing process.

Healing takes time- do not confuse it with unforgiveness.

WOW!!! How do I know this? Been there, done that.

But this looks like a list for a superheroes or something. Yes if tried in one’s own strength.

Thank God I don’t have to! The Bible tells me that Jesus was tempted in every way thereof is able to sympathize with my weakness.( Heb 4:5)

When I am tempted to sin He does provide me with a way out- an escape route and will not allow me to be tempted more than I can handle.(1Cor 10:13)

I need to remind myself that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

I can have victory over this problem. I have a choice – to be offended or not.

I also have a responsibility not to cause offence – that my speech is gentle and seasoned with salt, my behaviour is loving and kind at all times and I will be quick to forgive and not harbour ill in my heart. My prayer is that I would be a channel of peace.

Life is short. Let’s keep short accounts and be on the offensive about this offensive habit of taking offence!

LETS PRAY.

Are there people who have sinned against you? Forgive them

Are there people you have sinned against? Go and seek forgiveness.

Give yourself the gift to forgiveness today.

You can read more on Offence in this Blog written by Navaz

For a Blog on Forgiveness by Colin please click here

Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again),  Spirit-filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that has people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service.  Word of Grace is a part of a wider international family of Churches called RegionsBeyond.To know more about us please log onto www.wordofgracechurch.org. 

All in the Family- Joseph: Part 1 | Austine K

This message was preached  by Austine Kudalkar at Word of Grace Church on November 26th, 2017. To listen/download the audio please click here. To listen to the Sunday's worship and prophetic contributions please click here.

As a church we’ve been going through Matthew 1 which talks about the Genealogy of Jesus Christ and we are just connecting the dots of the old testament to new testament. Isaac – the promised child. Jacob and his 12 sons

I want to tell you a bit of family background of Joseph.

Joseph father, Jacob loved Rachel and his intention was to only marry her but Rachel’s dad tricked him and got him married to Leah and Jacob was so shattered. Jacob worked more 7 years for Rachel and got married. Leah and Rachel were always fighting with each other for Jacob. (Jacob loved Rachel but Hated Leah)

Then they had children and Rachel and Leah also gave their Maidservant to Jacob as a wife to produce more children. Now Jacob has 4 wives and 13 children. One was a girl child.

Joseph was the 11^th son out of the 12 brothers. Jacob and Rachael’s first born. Joseph was raised in a very dysfunctional family. There would’ve been lot of friction between the wives and also the kids. While Joseph was still young his mother Rachael died. What a tragedy in Jacob and Joseph life and also in Benjamin’s life who was just a new born. When Rachael died Jacob’s first born son of Leah, that is Reuben had an affair with Jacob’s concubine, wife and slept with her and Jacob heard of that incident. It must’ve grieved Jacob and the maidservants sons when they heard about it. Simeon and Levi killed the men of this town called Shechem. It was a bloody family. Imagine, Joseph was raised in such an environment at home.

1. Joseph as a son in Canaan/Father’s house.

a)     Joseph loved by father and faithful to father

Joseph was 17 years old and was pasturing the flock along his half blood brother’s. Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. (Probably they were doing something bad) Joseph felt like that it’s much needed that his father should know what his sons are doing.

37: V.3 Jacob made for Joseph a robe of many colours.

v.4 “when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him.

It’s not that Jacob didn’t love his children. It’s just that he loved Joseph more than all his sons.

b)     Joseph’s Dreams

v. 5 – 11 Binding sheaves and sun moon and stars bowing down.

Jacob rebuked him.

v.11 And his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the saying in mind. (In the past Jacob had also seen dreams from God)

c)     Joseph hated by his brothers

Jacob asked Joseph to go and check on his brothers whether they were doing well.

While at a distance when Joseph’s brothers saw him coming they conspired against him and plot to kill him and his dreams.

To cut the long story short they took hold of him, stripped his clothes, and threw him into the PIT. , soaked his robe in goats blood to show it to Jacob that he was killed by an animal. Reuben tried and saved him from not being killed. Judah pitched to sell Joseph to the Ishmaelites for 20 shekels of silver. They sold him and Joseph was taken as a slave to the Egypt and they sold him to the Potiphar, an officer of pharaoh, the captain of the guard.

Q. Can anyone relate with Joseph’s dysfunctional family? Can anyone relate with Jealousy & hatred? Do you have any dreams which God has placed in your heart?

People may criticise you for your dreams but don’t give up on it.

2. Joseph as a slave in Egypt

a)     Faithfully Serving, succeeding and being an Overseer in Potiphar’s house

·       Genesis 39:2—6

 The Lord was with joseph and he became a successful man

b)     Joseph and Potiphar’s wife.

Ø  Joseph was handsome in form and appearance. Potiphar’s wife cast her eyes on him and said, “Lie with me”

·       V.9 Joseph said, “How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?”

She spoke to him day after day but Joseph refused to listen to her, to lie beside her, and to be with her.

(There was a great temptation and an opportunity to sleep with Potiphars wife but Joseph chose to honour God and not defile his master’s bed.)

One day Joseph went into the house to do his work and nobody else were in the house. (NO Whatsapp to communicate that nobody is at the office.) Except Potiphar’s wife. She caught him by his garment and said, “Lie with me.” ANOTHER GREAT TEMPTATION WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND. Jospeh didn’t give into it but left the garment with her and fled from the house naked.

To cut the long story short Potiphars wife screamed and informed others and informed her husband and showed him Josephs Garment. Potiphar got angry and put him in the prison where King’s prisoners were confined.

Q.Are you facing and temptations with sexual thoughts and have you ever wrongly been accused of wrong doing?

This is one of the good examples about Joseph that to flee from situations when any woman or men talk about to lie with them and to still be strong and not be discouraged when falsely accused.

c)     Joseph in prison and an overseer

39:21-23 The Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison.

Joseph’s attitude didn’t change when he went thru all the pain. He was hated and rejected by his brothers, they put him in the pit, sold him into slavery, wrongly accused of molesting a woman, and then thrown into the prison where king’s prisoners were confined. The situation kept growing worse from PIT to Slavery to Prison for just foe sharing the dream.

He maintained his attitude and kept serving faithfully and honoured God in all his doing and the Lord was with him in times of great pain and difficulty.

Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again),  Spirit filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that have people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service. To know more about us please log onto www.wordofgracechurch.org.

Family Matters Part 7 | Marriage - 3 | Colin D Cruz

This message was preached by Colin D Cruz at Word of Grace Church  Pune, on the 20th October 2013. 

This is part 8 of a series called Family Matters. and is part 3 on Marriage.  What  is marriage? Why should we marry? What is the blue print for a good marriage?

Read and listen to this life changing message.

To listen to the AUDIO please CLICK HERE

The last message in this series on Marriage we saw  how God created the entire universe and also created MAN, gave him MISSION. He then provided him a MRS, initiated MARRIAGE.

 A MARRIAGE is one of the primary building blocks of society. It’s so significant that Jesus says that it is a picture of himself and the church.  He calls it a MYSTERY. Marriage was God’s idea and today we are going to look at the creator’s instructions for MARRIAGE.

Marriage is not just a good thing it is a God thing. In our first message on Marriage, we saw how God was the one who initiated marriage by providing Adam the first man a suitable partner fit for him. When God placed Eve the first woman before Eve, Adam was all ecstatic and poetry flowed from his lips when he saw the companion God had given him.

So God created MAN, placed him in a beautiful garden, and gave him a MISSION to take care of creation have a relationship with God and to equip him to do that he gave him a MISSUS – that resulted in the first MARRIAGE .

In our second session we saw that the CREATOR gave certain instructions to this newly married couple on how to live harmoniously as Husband and Wife.

God commands a man to LEAVE his parents and be JOINED to his wife in

God's blueprint for a successful marriage: Leave your parents, be joined to your wife to become one flesh and be intimately connected in every dimension of life.

This is the divine recipe for success in marriage. The ingredients and the method, both are important, just like in a recipe.

We looked at the importance of LEAVING our parents. When you tie the knot, you cut the cord. Just as a newborn baby is detached from the mother and is a unique person, so also a newlywed couple needs to detach from both sets of parents and forge a new unique identity.

So many problems are caused when the couple or the parents do not realize this and follow this.

Q. What does it mean to leave?

At one stage we were all in our mother’s womb. At that stage we were one with our mother. Then comes a time when the baby is born and the umbilical cord now needs to be cut. The umbilical cord is tied and the cord is then cut.

“Tie the knot and cut the cord”. At marriage we tie the knot and we have to cut the cord. For many years we were connected to our parents but now you are a new unit. The relationship dynamics will now change though we still love each other.

·        Physically: not necessarily living in the same house under the same roof. How do we do this? In case of old infirm parents we do look after them but we must establish who is in charge. Often the husband sides with his mother.  Mothers can play the emotional card and emotionally blackmail the son. This causes a lot of conflict. When a husband stands up for his wife 9 when it is needed), it gives great security to the wife and forges unity. Sometimes the in-laws try to dominate on other issues as well.

·        Financially: when you get married, you should be able to provide for your wife.  It is the responsibility of the man to provide for his family. Your wife may or may not work- she only supplements the income you bring in. Men must study hard, work hard and get a good job to be a good provider. In India often we see a reversal of roles where the wife slogs it out while the husband drinks and gambles all the money. Don’t depend on your in laws either.

      Dowry is a big curse in our country just like child marriage and Sati was. Sadly many Christians also give and take dowry. Can I challenge you to stop this evil practice? Young men, can I challenge you not to ask for dowry at the time of your marriage. You can stop it and change the culture.

     Another curse is the Big fat Indian wedding. Lakhs of rupees are spend on this one evening that often leaves the wife’s family in a huge debt. Let’s change the culture. We need to be thermostats in our nation where we set the tone in our culture and not be thermometers that merely reflect the cultural trends. Let’s be Biblical in all we do.

·       Emotionally: Whenever there is a problem, we are not running back to dad and mum. In all this we honor our parents but we are separate. Remember your first priority is not your mother or sister, but your WIFE. You need to learn to share with your spouse and lean on each other and not anybody else. Your best friend now is your spouse, not another man or woman and certainly not someone of the opposite sex. This doesn’t mean that you can never talk with them again. What it does mean is that your allegiance needs to change. Your loyalty now belongs to your spouse -- your partner should never have to compete with your parents – or anyone else for that matter.

You have to leave your college buddies, your girlfriends, and everything that can come between you and your new best friend.

Don’t do anything that will put a wedge between you and your wife.

·       Spiritually: Now the husband must lead the home spiritually. So men, build yourselves up in the faith. Even how you bring up your children is the responsibility of the parents and not the grandparents. Men must be able to lead their wives spiritually. Often wives are more spiritually inclined. Husband you need to shepherd your family. You need to pastor your family first.

    Remember you are not a really man by what you consume but by what you contribute. It’s not whether you can hold your drink but whether you can hold your job.

Women – look for a man who can lead you and feed you.

Men – look for a woman who will respect you and follow you.

Today we will look at the aspect of being united together to form one flesh. What does that mean?

Be United

24 So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body.
Genesis 2

The word “united” literally means to be glued together -- “to melt 2 separate entities together to form a permanent bond.” The word you may hear in some weddings is “cleave”. It has the idea of being bonded or welded together. The union is so strong that it takes something extremely violent to dissolve it.
There are four bonds that are to be nurtured between a man and a woman.

What is joined together?

(1)         A man and a woman- today this needs to be over stated.

(2)         A believing man and a woman 2 Cor 6:14, 1 Cor 7:39 A relational prohibitions
 The Message Paraphrase says it this way: “Don’t become partners with those who reject God.”

Different in values, aspirations, compass pointing true north and the others is pointing south.

Affects every area of life – relationships with inlaws, bringing up children, handling money, what to do on Sundays, etc.

Deuteronomy 22:10 in mind when he wrote these words: “Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.” 

People have disregarded this command to their own peril and destruction. Their spiritual growth has gone down the drain and they are rendered in effective for the kingdom. Often they are not allowed to fellowship with believers and it’s a very sad situation. They are forced to compromise on what faith the children are brought up in.

(3)         What happens if you have married and unbeliever or you were unbelievers and you have now come to faith
1 Cor 7:12,13 – do not separate. Pray like mad. If you are not yet married please do not consider this as an option.

  

What does this unity look like?

Unity implies permanency. to try and separate it will involve damage to both . do not have a back door mentality. Measure twice cut once. This unit is a covenant.

Who does the joining? Matt 19:4-6. “What God has joined…” So it’s an amazing thing when a man and woman say “I do”. God is present and supernaturally joined them together.

How does this work out?

1 Priority – this relationship takes priority over every other relationship. Your spouse becomes your best friend. Its above your own children and parents as well.

2.Joint Ownership -  not my money and her money, it’s our money. This creates oneness and security. You need to foster that kind of trust. 

3.Its joint decisions, in marriage. Decisions making should shared. The husband is the head but he does not take unilateral decisions. Often the wife will have greater wisdom on the subject don’t let your ego get in the way.

This needs to be communicated to the children as well so they don’t play one against the other. This is true of the in laws as well. Do not let your mother ask you to keep secrets from your spouse. Protect your wife from wild accusations that may be thrown at her.

      When we take care of aged parents, we need to treat both the in-laws equally not just the husbands’ parents.

    Imagine if India began to put this into practice. Can you imagine men all over taking their rightful place in the family, what a difference it will make to the entire society and to the nation?

    Let’s be thermostats and not thermometers and change things in our won families, our culture, community and nation. Amen! 

       Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again),  Spirit filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that have people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service. To know more about us please log ontowww.wordofgracechurch.org.

    English Language Service Sundays at 10am. Please check google maps for directions!