Karen W from Heart of the Matter Ministries International is a friend of Word of Grace Church and has been a blessing to us over the years. This is the second part of the message that was preached by Karen W at Word of Grace Church on July 2nd, 2017. To listen/download the audio please click here.
First of all I want to thank
Colin and Navaz for their pioneering work at Word of Grace church. What a
perfect balance! What’s the word of Grace? When we can walk in the word of God
that is filled with grace, our real selves can come out.
What does grace look like?
It looks like acceptance even of our weaknesses. Let’s say someone
struggles with an addiction. And they have a lot of shame around that. Grace
will come and give honour to them. It is a sin, but we give honour and love on them
to let them know that they still have
identity even though they have an addiction. Truth comes in by giving
instruction. Grace allows people to grow and process this thing out in faith.
Churches that are so culturalised, everything is truth truth truth,
instead of connection- talking, listening, walking things out. A couple of
years ago I gave a testimony of how I terminated two pregnancies. But when I
had people of Grace and Truth in my life, grace brought in healing. Truth by
itself brings shame. Jesus told me that as I confess my sin, he is faithful and
just to forgive me of all my iniquity. Then something wonderful happened. I am not ashamed of my past because there
is no shame to it now. I love it because of how God delivered me of it. I
love all parts of Karen. Even the Bad parts because God loves my bad parts. When
I love all of me, I can bring my bad parts out to God quicker. Whatever is
going on in your life will be covered by honour and respect when there is
Grace.
I talked about the kingdom of
culture. I want you to give me some examples of culture that is not life-giving
but is full of shame.
Q. What in your culture brings shame?
1.
People don’t eat with everyone.
2.
Widows are not treated properly- they are
excluded because they are perceived to bring shame.
3.
People who live in small hamlets bring social
boycott.
4.
Racial discrimination
5.
Dowry
6.
Being judgemental and jealousy
7.
Measuring religion by prosperity
8.
Hypocrisy- people pleasing instead of
God-pleasing.
9.
Disagreement with elders is like dishonouring
them
10.
Inter-caste relationships are looked down upon
11.
Valuing people based on their work and
favouritism.
12.
Child marriage
13.
Killings in the name of eating beef
14.
People judge everyone based on their past
15.
The Bible speaks about leaving and cleaving
whereas that is
16.
When someone gets divorced, their whole life is
marked by that their whole life.
17.
If a wife gives birth to a girl child, it is
considered as a shame on the entire family.
18.
If the children don’t do engineering or doctor,
you are looked down upon.
19.
If someone makes a mistake, they are not
encouraged to speak in public again.
20.
Language you speak, how you worship, etc. you
are judged on the basis of that.
One of the women said this kind
of conversation never happens in the church. We are not talking about an
American gospel. We are talking about
the culture of the Kingdom. It is important for us to have breakthrough
conversation.
We need to know how to deal with conflict. I’m sure a lot of us have
experienced unhealthy relationships in their life. We help people
experience the love of God. our priorities are often mixed up. Its often
pastoral work, ministry and family last. When things are so messed up, you
wonder how the anointing could trickle down.
This is what I believe- God is going to shift some things around.
In fact he is doing it right now. If you don’t understand what healthy church
looks like, the tendency is to go back to the things that the culture dictates.
That is not what it is about. It is because who I’m connected to that allows me
to do what I do. In him there is no Jew nor slaves... but we are all in all one
in Christ. Not just positionally, but gender-wise, we are one in Christ.
We talked about the 5 components of a healthy church- Truth, Grace,
Gifts, Fruit, Teleois. When we can bring wholeness to the church, and you
release this anointing, as it is in heaven, it will come to the earth. I am
releasing a declaration of a new way of thinking that your mind will be
renewed. That everyone can happen in the church. Everyone can have a part in
the community of God. We are sons and daughter of the King. We are children of
God. As wholeness comes into the church,
people can show you their wounds. It is because of this that I could get free.
I want to break shame. I know the
smell of shame, it’s a demon from the pit of hell. It tells you that you are
not good enough. I found myself pregnant twice before I turned 20 and I got 2
abortions. I went through many years of shame. But now I have no shame. I am
proud to tell my story because he is a good delivering God. When I went to a
healing counselling session- the Lord spoke to me and I saw Jesus sitting with
me at the clinic where I terminated by babies. While there were protestors
shaming me outside the clinic, the Lord himself was in the room with me. As the child was getting destroyed, the
same way Jesus put back the ear that was sawed off by Peter, Jesus put my child
back together. That’s the kind of God I serve. So I am not ashamed of the
gospel. The reason I worship the way I do is because he delivered me and set me
free. So when I feel shame, I am repelled by it. He has opened the door for me
here in India of abortions, of different experiences. They said they can come
to me because they felt safe. It wasn’t
about the abortions, it was about how God loved and accepted me. I love Jesus.
We will talk about 20 signs of people who are toxic for you:
1. Unsafe
people think they have it all together instead of admitting weakness.
2. Unsafe
people are religious instead of spiritual. Being religious is being judgemental
all the time.
3. Unsafe
people defend themselves when
confronted instead of being open to feedback and understanding their own faults
& mistakes. When you are healthy and free from shame, I have relationships,
where people can come and speak into our lives about different things.
4. Unsafe
people are self-righteous or falsely
humble instead of being genuinely humble.
5. Unsafe
people rarely apologize and own
their actions, but when they do, the apology is not followed by a change in
behaviour. When people apologize, it’s just saying sorry I got caught. But when
you seek forgiveness, you intend to change your behaviour.
6. Unsafe
people go to great lengths to avoid
looking at (much less working on) their problems.
7. Unsafe
people demand trust instead of
understanding trust is earned.
8. Unsafe
people do not admit fault and will
make statements such as “I am sorry you feel that way” or any other form of an
apology that does not contain confession of their fault.
9. Unsafe
people blame others and work hard to
assign blame to their situations instead of owning their responsibilities in
the matter.
10. Unsafe
people lie and manipulate. They
aren’t honest about a myriad of things.
11. Unsafe
people are stagnant and show little
to no signs of growth.
12. Unsafe
people avoid closeness instead of
connecting.
13. Unsafe
people are only concerned about the “I”
rather than the “we.” Even when expressing empathy they will say things
like “I feel so bad about your loss.” As opposed to “You must be in so much
pain after your loss.”
14. Unsafe
people resist the freedom associated
with healthy boundaries instead of encouraging it. They have an unhealthy
relationship with your “no” responses and often violate boundaries.
15. Unsafe
people only flatter and never confront,
or only confront and never flatter. The balance between the two is non-existent
in unsafe people.
16. Unsafe
people condemn us instead of
covering our faults with grace or forgiveness. They will say things aloud like,
“Oh, you forgot to pick up your son?” or “You didn’t know that?” Often repeated
more than once to exploit weakness.
17. Unsafe
people stay in parent/child roles instead of relating as equals. They often want
to parent you or revert to childlike states in unhealthy extremes. Everyone has
this trait to a certain degree, but unsafe people polarize in this department.
When people act like babies or you make everyone your parent telling you what
to do, that is unhealthy. When older people get around young people they do
this.
18. Unsafe
people are unstable over time. A
season of instability is normal, but when a person seems to have chronic
instability, that is a red flag.
19. Unsafe
people influence us negatively. We
often leave interactions with them feeling bad, but unsure why. They bring out
the worst in us instead of promoting and inspiring our good qualities.
20. Unsafe
people talk about others negatively
when they are not around. We can be sure that we aren’t so special that we are
excluded from their gossip. When a person assassinates another person’s
character, name-calls or shares private information about others, this is a
sign of relational manipulation common in unsafe people. there is one thing if
you have an issue with someone and need to process it with someone. But if you
infect others with your opinion by slandering them, that is unsafe. When you
feel influenced by what another person has said about them, that’s an unsafe
person. That is not celebrated or tolerated in the kingdom of God or in this
church.
Safe people:
1. Safe
people are honest and comfortable in
who they are.
2. Safe
people gladly submit to accountability.
It means that they feel comfortable asking others to speak into their life or
hold them accountable if they say they are going to do something.
3. Safe
people accept you for who you are at
all times.
4. Safe
people will share their deep- heart just
like you. They will be mutual.
5. Safe
people walk in honour and respect.
Respect means unconditional worth. That they treat you as an adult, not trying
to do things for you.
6. In
healthy safe relationships, it promotes
growth. It brings you closer to God.
Interdependent and independent
churches- So when people leave you
community in an independent churches, you don’t even know. You are so
focused on yourself. When we are a healthy church that develops healthy
relationships, equality and preach scriptures where God says about being
citizen of heaven, we care about who is
missing, without shame- something beautiful happens. Church should be the
safest place on the planet. People like me who come into the church with a
crazy past, God can do something
wonderful. I am delivered, set free
and a world changer.
Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again), Spirit filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that have people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service. To know more about us please log onto www.wordofgracechurch.org.
No comments:
Post a Comment