Sunday, September 15, 2013

Family Matters 7 Marriage - tie the knot, cut the cord.

This message was preached by Colin D Cruz at Word of Grace Church  Pune, on the 15th of September 2013 

This is part 7  of a series called Family Matters.  What  is marriage?  What is the blue print for a good marriage? We are sorry that there is no audio to go with this blog.


Marriage is a very touchy topic - Anything that touches our core values or our culture can be a sensitive issue.



In every culture there are some things that are good. We have such beauty and variety in our India dress, colors, styles of cooking. In general, Indians are warm and hospitable - whether rich or poor. But sometimes, there are things that are not good and there are things that are neutral viz. dress, food.

There are things that are wrong that have been needed to be addressed and removed viz. Sati, dowry, and child marriage. Bad things need to be rejected. Some things need to be redeemed. The Good News of the Bible upholds good things and redeems certain things in our culture.

Marriage is God’s idea and not one cave man who decided to stick with one woman. 
Marriage is not just a good thing, it is a God thing.
God gave man a mission to look after the garden. He then gave him a Mrs. and we have the first marriage.

Marriage is also a mystery. The Bible begins with marriage and ends with the marriage supper of the Lamb.

Q. what is God’s blueprint for marriage?
Statistics show that marriage is on the decline and the rate of divorce is going up. In Mumbai there are 250 cases monthly registered for divorce. There are many more broken marriages where the wife will just bear up and suffer.

 n Genesis 2:24-25- God lays down the foundation here. This is important because the very foundation is being attacked, marred and disfigured. God wants us to uphold His divine pattern for marriage.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame.”

God's blueprint for a successful marriage: Leave your parents, be joined to your wife to become one flesh and be intimately connected in every dimension of life.

This is the divine recipe for success in marraige. The ingredients and the method, both are important, just like in a recipe.

This is God’s blueprint not man’s clever idea. It is repeated again in the New Testament in Matthew 19:4, Mark 10:7 and Ephesians 5:25.

There are four processes involved here:

We are going to talk about the first one today and that is ‘leaving’
Then we have joining. It means being superglued together so strongly, that separating the two will result in damaging both. Becoming one flesh is a mystery. As a man an woman come together in marriage, it is God who joins them and makes them one flesh. Finally, "named and unashamed" speaks of intimacy. This refers to mental, emotional, physical and spiritual oneness.

Q. What does it mean to leave?
At one stage we were all in our mother’s womb. At that stage we were one with our mother. Then comes a time when the baby is born and the umbilical cord now needs to be cut. The umbilical cord is tied and the cord is then cut.

Tie the knot and cut the cord”. At marriage we tie the knot and we have to cut the cord. For many years we were connected to our parents but now you are a new unit. The relationship dynamics will now change though we still love each other.

·        Physically: not necessarily living in the same house under the same roof. How do we do this? In case of old infirm parents we do look after them but we must establish who is in charge. Often husbands side with their mothers. This causes a lot of conflict. When a husband stands up for his wife, it gives great security to the wife. Sometimes the in-laws try to dominate on other issues as well.

·        Financially: when you get married, you should be able to provide for your wife. Men must study hard, work hard and get a good job to be a good provider. When we take care of old parents, we need to treat both the in-laws equally. It is primarily the husband's responsibility to provide for his family.

·       Emotionally: Whenever there is a problem, we are not running back to dad and mum. In all this we honor our parents but we are separate. Remember your first priority is not your mother or sister, but your WIFE.

·       Spiritually: Now the husband must lead the home spiritually. So men, build yourselves up in the faith. Even how you bring up your children is the responsibility of the parents and not the grandparents. Men must be able to lead their wives spiritually.


When we follow this ( and this is one only part of the  ingredient for a successful marriage) there will be harmony all around. You will have a strong marriage and relationships with both the in-laws intact.


   Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again),  Spirit filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that have people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service. To know more about us please log ontowww.wordofgracechurch.org.

    English Language Service Sundays at 10am. Please check google maps for directions!