Tuesday, November 1, 2022

Healing a Broken Identity

This message was preached at Word Of Grace Church on October 30th 2022  by Navaz D'Cruz. For the audio & video please click here. To listen to the worship please click here.



What are the two questions everyone wants to be answered? Who am I and why am I here?

We can our identity from possessions, position or place. I want to tell you that we get our identity from a person – His name is Jesus. Our being or identity is NOT connected to doing something but knowing someone.


We need to go back to Eden. We need to understand what happened there to deal with the roots. Today we are doing root treatment.

God created Adam and Eve He was their Perfect Father. They were created to have a perfect relationship with him of love, trust and intimacy. But for there to be true love and trust, there needs to be the ability to choose. So, there were these 2 trees. 

We have another character in this story. His name is Lucifer. He lived in God’s presence and was the chief worshipper but he was cast out of God’s presence which was marked by love and intimacy. He lost that forever. He became an orphan. When he saw that God made man in His own image who were enjoying the intimacy he once had he turned his hate toward mankind and was on a mission to steal, kill and destroy man’s identity, intimacy and inheritance in God.

His biggest battle is against you, a child of God. He knows that when sons of God realize and live in their identity, the earth that is his dominion will be dispelled of darkness, as sons and daughters of God shine as light and regain their lost glory because of the fall


Praise God our lost connection with the Father is restored in Christ, through the cross. Jesus came to reveal the Father, and His primary mission was to reunite us with Him. We live in a fallen world and none of us escape its effects. The fall fractured our relationship not only with Father God, but with our fellowmen and nature. Man, woman and the ground were cursed.  Jesus came to restore us to the Father and heal our wounded hearts and relationships.

Yet why do many Christians struggle with this.?

The Bible tells us that when we are born again, we become children of God. We are adopted into His family.

‘The Spirit you received does not make you slaves so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him, we cry, “Abba, Father.”’ (Rom 8:15) 


Salvation is in an instant. The Cross brings about restoration and renewal of our body, mind, and soul is a lifelong process – we are being changed from one degree of glory to another. We must partner with that renewal process. 

So, while we are born again and we are new creations in Christ, there is still a ‘sin habit’ we have to put to death. We carry some old habits into it the new kingdom. The orphan spirit is one of them. It is not cast out; it needs to be replaced. It gets replaced by truth, the truth that transforms the way we think which affects how we behave.


Satan using the orphan way of thinking to keep us from realizing our full potential

 An Orphan way of thinking affects our thinking, perception and behavior. Deep down, they struggle to understand that God loves them and that HE is good. Whenever we feel God is not looking after our best interest, we feel jealous, envious and bitter towards others which is a part of orphan thinking.

We need to recognize it, repent and replace those thought patterns with Christ-like ones. It is a daily ongoing process of renewing the mind. We have to choose to embrace sonship i.e what we have positionally we now need to walk out experientially.

Let us look at the story of THE PRODIGAL SON. Both the sons operated out of an orphan spirit? The younger was overtly rebellious, independent and self-willed.
The older son was the religious, law-abiding one but was also functioning from an orphan spirit. He seemed to be obedient, and dutiful. But he had no intimacy with the Father or else he would have known that everything the Father has was there for him to enjoy.

He tried to earn favour from duty. The religious spirit is like this. We live driven by rules rather than relationships. This spirit does not understand grace and mercy and therefore cannot celebrate another person. The older son is offended by grace. We can function like this in our families, with friends, at work and at church. It is an internal heart default position that affects how we view the world and God.

For some of us, this orphan is further compounded by bad experiences in childhood – abusive home, alcoholic parents, divorce, early death of a father, and physical and or sexual abuse by people who should have protected you.

For some, it is a deep FATHER WOUND.  There has been a steady shift in our culture and even around the world in the past few decades. Never have we seen the issue of fatherlessness in our life experiences as we see today. Fathers are absent because they have fathered children but not out of covenant. Fathers are absent because of addictions that they are enslaved to viz alcohol, gambling, drugs or promiscuity. Fathers are absent because of a job where they work long hours and sometimes seven days a week. We have fathers that are emotionally and mentally absent from the home.

We all carry a father wound that was knowingly or unknowingly inflicted upon us by our earthly fathers. And we have all been deceived by the Father of all lies and been wounded by him– the devil.

Several things could have happened to us during our growing up that could have tainted our view of the Father.

Type OF Father

Effect on the child

Distant and uninvolved

Independent and self-reliant

Angry man

Fear guilt and shame and had to manage his anger.

Negligent in providing

Insecure and with a poverty mindset and grabbing.

Cold and distant

Bonding issues

Lack of affirmation

Struggle with identity and approval seeking behavior


Fear of failure, lying, cover up, blame game

Physically or sexually abusive.

Fear, shame and a deep distrust for authority because the one that should have protected you violated you.

Showed approval only when you did things right

Acceptance is based on performance and would work hard to please and earn his love.

God wants to heal that wounded heart and reveal his Father's heart to you – that is for you, that loves you with everlasting love, that gives you more than you can ask or imagine, his love is unconditional.

All of us display several of these and need to learn to replace these patterns.
Look at the list below. It is not exhaustive but indicative



operates out of insecurity and jealousy. 

functions out of love and acceptance.

is jealous of the success of his brothers and cannot celebrate it

is committed to the success of his brothers.

 serves God to earn the Father’s love.

serves God from a place of acceptance and favor.

deep-rooted trust issues and doubts the goodness of God

walks in security and trusts living in surrender to God.

is driven by the need for success and to stand out.

Does not feel accepted and feels the need to prove their worth.

This may result in:

  • Seeking to hide their limitations
  • Perceiving the strengths of others as competition
  • Secretly taking satisfaction in the weaknesses of others
  • Needing and seeking attention.

The spirit leads the mature son into his calling and mission. Our Father’s invites us to a place of unconditional acceptance and rest in our unique, God-given identity. (1 Cor 12:18)

Sons and daughters embrace both their strengths and weaknesses—comfortable both with who they are and Whose they are


displays anger and fits of rage as fake power.

rests in the Father’s ability to control and guide the situation.

in competition with others. Performance-Orientation

The spiritual orphan feels rejected—therefore believing that he or she must compensate by working hard or performing well to be recognized.

This may result in:

  • A constant drive to perform well
  • Judging the weaknesses or performance of other team members or leaders
  • Having feelings of mistrust towards others—feeling they are going to be ‘punished’ at any time.
  • Looks for someone to blame.

The spirit of sonship is always blessing others. It wants another to succeed and is not threatened by another’s success. 

Takes responsibility for one's actions: I did something wrong versus ‘I am wrong”

The orphan spirit lacks self-esteem. Fear and Insecurity

The spiritual orphan is unsure of his or her place in the family. Orphans also feel uncovered and unprotected—therefore their instinct is self-preservation.

This may result in:

  • A constant need of reassurance by leaders [2]
  • Lack of confidence in their spiritual gifts, and any ministry position they have been given.
  • They need to prove themselves.
  • Being protective and territorial about their ministry areas

The spirit of sonship walks in the love and acceptance of Father God. Our Father’s invitation is to a place of security in His love, care and constant oversight. (Matt 10:29-31)

They can trust in Father’s faithfulness even when changes or trials occur in church life.

Our Father’s invitation is to experience the fullness of His undeserved grace and favour. (Eph 1:6)

Sons and daughters generously extend grace to others’ failures. This is because they know the fullness of the Father’s grace towards them.

primary identity through material possessions, physical appearance and activities.

The spirit of sonship is grounded in the Father’s affirmation.

walk around with a spirit of rejection. Hence, they are hyper-sensitive and have an unconscious assumption that people are against them. 

knows he is accepted and loved by the Father.

Numb pain with pleasure i.e., drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex etc.

Takes his pain to God and allows the Holy Spirit to heal them from within.

Distrusts authority and finds it hard to submit


Feels the victim and lives a powerless life. Is often caught in a drama triangle where they play the Victim.

Is powerful and live above circumstances and take responsibility for their actions and choices.

Use control to mask their fears

Is aware of their heart and trusts God in trails

Has boundary issues

Can have clear boundaries with people

Self-reliant, and feel they need to do everything on their own. Afraid to show any vulnerability

Not afraid to be vulnerable and trust others

Feels entitled therefore grabs and looks out for number one

Knows God as the provider and therefore can live in peace and surrender.


Struggles with forgiveness and generosity

Can forgive and give freely.

It was for freedom Christ came to set us from – to set the captive free, the bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom. The beautiful thing in the Kingdom is that then the ones who were broken now help heal others. We have all been broken. But we have experienced healing and restoration in the cross. 

When we have intimacy with the Father, we get identity. From identity, we get our inheritance and with our inheritance, we make an impact on this planet.

ORPHAN: I Do – I Have – I Become

SON: I Am – I have – I do

When we learn to cultivate a relationship with Jesus, we will also grow close to the Father, because He and the Father are one. Remain in him. Develop intimacy with the Father as Jesus did.

If you want to start your journey of renewal and walking away from orphan thinking and behaving – you first need to acknowledge it. God gives graces to the humble. God will come in and heal those wounded places in your heart. 

Word of Grace is an Evangelical (Born Again),  Spirit-filled (Charismatic), Reformed, English-speaking church in Pune that upholds the Bible as God's inspired Word for life. We are a church community that has people from every part of India and parts of the world. We are here to put the Great Command and the Great Commission into practice by equipping and releasing every member into works of service.  Word of Grace is a part of a wider international family of Churches called RegionsBeyond.To know more about us please log onto www.wordofgracechurch.org.  

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